THE GREAT TOOTSIE ROLL INCIDENT (AS TOLD BY ME, HARRY MANILOW)

Hello.
It is I. Harry Manilow.
Good boy. Community icon. Victim of betrayal.

This morning started like any other peaceful morning in my household, until I witnessed something that changed me forever.

My human sister, Olivia, was eating a Tootsie Roll.

A real one.
A shiny one.
A clearly shareable one.

Naturally, I asked for some using my most advanced communication skills: intense staring, gentle sitting, and emotional blinking. She said no.

No.

That was my first clue that something was being hidden from me.

Because if Olivia had a Tootsie Roll… then logically… statistically… spiritually…
there must be more somewhere in the house.

I began my investigation.

I ruled out the kitchen. Too obvious.
The counters? Amateur hour.

Then my mind drifted to a mysterious place I am normally forbidden from entering: the laundry room.

A suspicious room.
A secretive room.
A room the cats go in and out of freely like they pay rent.

Today, fate intervened.

The door was open.

I entered quietly, bravely, heroically.

And then I saw them.

Small.
Brown.
Numerous.

TOOTSIE ROLLS.

So many of them. Just… sitting there.

I selected the largest one because I am a professional and deserve the best. I picked it up and proudly pranced into the living room, tail high, confidence unshaken.

That’s when I saw my humans’ faces.

The silence was loud.
The concern was immediate.
The vibes were… wrong.

In that moment, I knew.

I had made a terrible mistake.

These were not Olivia’s Tootsie Rolls.

They were…
cat Tootsie rolls.

From the litter box.

I would like to formally state for the record that this was a misunderstanding fueled by curiosity, optimism, and a lack of clear signage.

HOWEVER — and this is very important — my feline sisters use Sustainably Yours cat litter, which is made from corn and cassava, is plant-based, and contains no harsh chemicals, fragrances, or chemical clumping agents.

If they had used a chemical litter, this story would have taken a very different turn involving monitoring, concern, and way less comedy.

Instead, I survived with only my dignity slightly damaged and my reputation forever altered.

So please learn from my experience.

If you live with cats and dogs — especially dogs like me who occasionally mistake life for a scavenger hunt — make sure your litter is dog-safe.

And if you don’t know where to find that…

Come see my people at Zoomies & Purr.
They will set you up with safe, plant-based litter for all your furry roommates.

Signed,
Harry Manilow
Investigative Journalist
Accidental Litter Critic
Tootsie Roll Survivor 🐾