Harry Manilow and the Suspicious Rubber Square

Good morning Fanilows.

Harry Manilow here, Director of Snacks at Zoomies & Purr, reporting on a situation that unfolded earlier this week during my routine morning snack patrol.

Everything started out normal.

I inspected the treat jars.
I checked the freezer.
I confirmed that the snack inventory was still in acceptable condition.

But then… I saw it.

A strange rubber square.

Covered in tiny grooves.

Suspicious grooves.

Now I’ve been around humans long enough to know that when humans invent something with grooves, snacks are usually involved.

So naturally I began my investigation.

After several minutes of careful observation (and one very dramatic sniff), the humans explained that this object is called a lick mat.

From what I understand, the process works like this:

The human takes something delicious.

Peanut butter.
Pumpkin.
Yogurt.
Your dog’s food.

And instead of simply handing it to the dog like a reasonable person…

THEY SMEAR IT INTO A RUBBER PUZZLE.

Then the dog has to spend the next 15 minutes licking every tiny groove to retrieve the snacks.

At first I was confused.

Why hide snacks?

Why make it harder?

Why not simply deliver the snacks directly into my mouth, which is clearly the most efficient system?

But the humans say lick mats are for something called “mental enrichment.”

Apparently dogs enjoy solving little puzzles to get their food.

Now personally I do not feel I need puzzles.

I already solved the most important puzzle in life:

Where are the snacks.

However, after observing several lick mat demonstrations, I must admit something surprising…

They are extremely fun.

You see, when the snacks are spread into all those grooves, dogs have to slow down, sniff around, and work every little corner.

Which means snack time lasts way longer.

This is what humans call “enrichment.”

I call it extended snack programming.

I also learned another interesting trick.

The human can put the lick mat in the freezer.

This makes the snacks even harder to get out.

Which means the dog must spend even more time licking the mat.

Now this is clearly some sort of advanced human technology.

Probably developed by scientists.

Or golden retrievers.

Or both.

Either way, I have concluded that lick mats are actually quite brilliant.

They help dogs who:

Eat too fast
Get bored easily
Need a distraction during baths
Or simply enjoy the delicate art of licking peanut butter out of small spaces.

In fact, if you really want to impress your dog, the humans say you can create something called a lick mat recipe.

For example:

Pumpkin and yogurt
Peanut butter and banana
Wet food with bone broth

This seems unnecessarily fancy.

But I respect the effort.

In conclusion, after thorough investigation, multiple demonstrations, and an extremely professional level of licking, I can confidently report the following:

The lick mat is not suspicious.

It is not dangerous.

It is simply a rubber square where snacks go to hide.

And frankly…

I am very good at finding them.

If you have never tried one with your dog, you might want to stop by and let me show you how they work.

I am extremely experienced.

For research purposes.

Obviously.

– Harry Manilow
Director of Snacks
Senior Rubber Square Investigator